Caught In A Fading Light
by mysticalforces
Summary: Alternate Universe. Nikita Meers is from one of the richest families in town. She's cynical and very broken. Michael James is one of the highest ranking teachers in California. Their relationship is all wrong but he seems to get her like no one else and from the beginning he's desperate to help her. Will it work or will both their lives come crashing down? {Mikita}
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Nikita Meers groaned for what seemed like the hundredth time.

It was her first day of senior year and she could not find her last class of the day.

She really thought she'd covered this whole building during orientation back when she'd started freshman year.

_Apparently not_, She ruefully decided.

Nikita's apprehension grew when she saw the yellow color of the lockers.

"This is _freshman_ wing!" Nikita whimpered, putting her head in her hands. "Not good, so not good..."

She looked over at the clock and felt her tension mount.

If she didn't get a move on and figure out where in the hell she was supposed to be pronto, she was gonna be late.

That word was so foreign to her.

Nikita Meers was going to be late.

Nikita could not be late, that just was not an option. She'd never been late for a thing in her life, and she sure as shit wasn't going to start now.

She looked up at the clock and realized she may not have a choice in the matter.

She was gonna be late for class and get...detention.

She could feel her nerves build up as she thought about what her parents would say...what they would do...to her.

_Life really was a bitch and than you died_ was all Nikita could think right at this very moment.

She looked at the clock hanging on the wall.

Two minutes left.

Maybe if she really hauled ass, she could get the hell off this wing.

Nikita took off and started racing down the halls again. She was half way to the yellow lockers when she felt herself slam into a solid form, the impact of the force crashing them both to the ground.

Nikita moaned at the pain she felt in her back as fell to the ground. She could've sworn it cracked.

Not wanting this stranger she'd crashed into to see her tears, she hid her face in the floor.

"Oh my God," An older man's voice said full of worry and sorrow. "Kid, are you okay?"

Nikita took in a deep breath as she struggled to stop her tears. She couldn't let this guy see her cry, she couldn't. "I'll live," She croaked out.

The guy gently smiled at her. "You've gotta be hurt, I saw how you fell, straight onto your back. I bet it hurts like hell." She felt him gently touch her shoulder. "Here, let me help you up. I'll take you the nurse's office."

At that statement, Nikita found the strength to make her tears stop. That could not happen. If she went to the nurse's office, they'd call her parents, and if they called her parents, her parents would come down here and if her parents came down here...

Nikita felt her head spin at those ideas. Oh, no, no, no. That just was not an option.

She lifted her head and any words that were going to come out of her mouth completely died when her eyes met his.

Right in front of her face was the most gorgeous guy she'd ever laid eyes upon before in her life.

Their eyes met and for a brief second she felt like he was looking right into her soul and she was looking right into his.

"Hey," The guy gently touched her face and it made her shiver. "you're not gonna pass out on me, are you?" He shook his head. "You know what, it's okay. I'll just carry you to the office and it'll be okay..."

Just like that, Nikita got her senses back. "No!" She quickly shouted. "I don't need to go see the nurse. I am fine, I promise."

He looked hesitant. "Are you sure? You took a pretty bad fall."

Nikita smiled at his obvious concern. Back in the fifth grade she'd broken her arm falling out of a tree and her dad couldn't even be bothered to go to the hospital with her. She didn't even know this guy and he seemed to care more than her dad did.

"I'm positive." Nikita assured him. "I'm sorry about knocking into you like that. Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He looked into her eyes with a look she couldn't quite define. "You know, in the future you may not want to run so fast," His brow furrowed as she detected a hint of scolding in them. "Or at all."

"Right," Nikita quickly responded. "I shouldn't have ran into you at all, and I am so sorry about that. I never run like that usually, I promise."

Her eyes scanned over at the fallen papers out of a briefcase and she felt her heart stop.

A teacher.

She'd just ran into a fucking teacher.

Scratch that, she'd just been crushing on a teacher.

_Just great_, She thought sarcastically. _My first day was going fine and the last hour of the day, I'm gonna get detention for running in the halls and knocking a teacher down in the process. Just fucking great._

The older guy suddenly broke out into a laugh. "Relax kid, I'm just messing with you."

Nikita's eyes shot up. "Huh?" She already felt herself being so into him and the phrase 'messing with you' caused her mind to go places it really shouldn't be going with a teacher.

He looked at her amused. "I was joking. You know? It's that thing where someone says something and it's like meant to be one of those things that makes the other person-"

"Right, right!" Nikita laughed nervously. "I get it. I get what joking means. I'm not retarded."

He laughed along with her. "I'm sure you're not. You do seem like you might be a little lost though, Miss…"

"Meers." Nikita supplied and didn't miss the look of recognition in the man's eyes. Sadly everyone in town knew of her family. "Nikita Meers. Sorry, I seem to have forgotten my manners along with my common sense all of a sudden."

He laughed again. "Hey, it's fine. First days can be very rocky. It's nice to meet you, Nikita. I'm Michael James, the kids call me Mr J though."

Nikita was surprised. Teachers never introduced themselves to her by their full name. There was something so different about him. Almost like he could be the kind of guy she could talk to, even with him being a teacher and all.

Michael seemed to catch on to her surprise and he elaborated. "I like to try and get to know my students, so giving them my full name just seems to help ease things along."

Nikita smiled. "What makes you think I'm one of your students?"

"Senior, right?" Michael said, pointing to her id pass.

Nikita lightly chuckled. "You caught me."

Michael laughed also. "Well, seeing as with you being a senior and all….you have to take psychology in order to graduate…"

"So, _you're_ my psych teacher." Nikita realized, her eyes held noticeable relief.

"You seem happy about that." Michael noted. "Aw, were you worried you were gonna wind up with Mr Aimes?"

Nikita nodded. "Immensely."

Michael laughed. "I would up stick for him, but he can be kind of a di-" He broke off as if he realized that he was talking to a student and not some girl he'd just met that was his own age. "Jerk. Big jerk."

This time it was Nikita's turn to smile at him in amusement. "I think I'm gonna like you, Mr J."

Michael smiled at her warmly. "I think I'm gonna like you too, Nikita." He reached down and helped her gather her papers and books.

"Thank you," Nikita smiled gratefully. "although, shouldn't I be doing that? I mean, I did run into you. Still sorry about that."

Michael looked up at her, his eyes suddenly serious. "Well, just don't do it again. This is a school, not a playground."

Nikita nodded, worry in her eyes. "I so will not, I promise. I was trying to find your class and not be late, but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have…"

"Nikita!" Michael cut her off with a slight laugh. "I am _messing_ with you!"

"Oh," Nikita said and than gave a small smile. "You have to stop doing that to me. You're like giving me two strokes in five minutes."

"I'm _that_ intimidating, huh?" Michael smirked.

Nikita rolled her eyes, feeling completely at ease with him now. "You're a teacher. You could screw up my college plans, not to mention my record. Coming from two parents who expect nothing but perfection…"

"That's just a parent's right." Michael smiled at her. "If they didn't love you, they wouldn't be on your case. Remember that."

"I wish they did," Nikita muttered, sadness entering her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. You okay?" Michael asked with concern.

Nikita quickly plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." A bell rings.

Michael laughed. "Well, I am totally late."

"Me too," Nikita sighed. "I was lost though, what's your excuse?"

Michael appeared to look thoughtful before replying. "Injured by a student."

Nikita laughed. "You're funny."

He shrugged. "Hey, I try." He picked up his briefcase and stood up. "C'mon, I'll show you to class. Unless, you were planning on skipping?"

Nikita smirked. "Oh my parents would just _love_ that! On second thought, maybe I'll do that. It's always nice to freak them out."

"You're gonna be trouble, I can tell." Michael noted with a hint of amusement.

Nikita rolled her eyes. "Oh, you don't know my parents."

Nikita stood up and she felt a shooting pain rip through her back. "Son of a bitch!" She slumped back to the ground and quickly covered her mouth. She really needed to quit while she was ahead with this guy.

Michael felt himself slightly chuckle at the look of mortification on the girl's face for swearing in front of him.

"Oh god. Please, don't give me a detention Mr J." Nikita pleaded, tears nearly coming into her eyes and it made Michael's eyes soften. This poor girl was really afraid. "I wasn't expecting to feel such a sharp pain in my back like that, I'd never swear normally and..."

"Nikita!" Michael knelt down to her level. "I am not going to give you a detention, okay? You're not even in my class yet and you didn't really do anything wrong. I get why you swore." He gave her a small smile. "Take my hand, I'll help you walk to the nurse's office."

"No!" Nikita instantly responded. "I don't need to go, I'm fine."

Michael raised his eyebrow at her stubbornness. "Wow, you are _really_ strong willed. Most girls would be happy to go to the nurse's station and get out of school an hour early."

"Yeah, well I'm not most girls, okay? I have no one to come get me anyway." Nikita told him. "My parents are really busy people and I have to keep moving. Life is hard and you can't just quit the moment things get rough."

Michael looked at her stunned. This girl couldn't be any older than seventeen, but he could've sworn he was talking to a twenty six year old. "I don't care how busy your parents are, Nikita...they're your parents. It's their job to take care of you."

_Yeah right_, Nikita thought bitterly. _They have never taken care of me. They may put a roof over my head and give me a five thousand dollar credit limit every month, but they haven't shown me love ever_.

"I can take care of me, okay?" Nikita responded. "I really need to finish this day. Don't make me go home, please."

Michael seemed to consider her for a moment before nodding his head. "I admire your strength, Nikita." He gently took her hand in his, helping her stand and watching her grimace. "I'm still taking you to the nurse's station. Make sure your back isn't fractured."

Nikita sighed. "Fine, okay. If you must. I don't want my parents bothered though, okay? They are busy people. They wouldn't be happy if you called them."

Michael helped Nikita walk down the hallway, his arm around her waist.

"They can't be that bad," Michael insisted.

"Tell ya what, you meet them and than we'll talk." Nikita retorted.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! Should have a chapter of "Crashed" up soon as well as "Carry You Through It All" & "Skyscraper" Wow I have lots of Mikita fics going lol. Hope you guys like the new chapter :)

Chapter 2

It was the morning of Senior Portraits day.

Nikita critically looked at herself in the mirror for the tenth time in an half hour.

She was wearing one of her fancier white summer dresses and her hair was left down.

She quickly checked her watch.

Crap.

She had about twenty minutes left before she had to be in first period.

Nikita sighed and quickly pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail.

_That would have to do_, she decided.

Nikita grabbed her bag and quickly strutted down the stairs.

"Nikita, is _that_ what you're wearing to school today?"

Nikita sighed as she heard the obvious disdain in her mother's voice and turned around to face her.

"Yes, it is." Nikita answered briskly. "Why?"

Amanda Meers looked her daughter over critically. "I thought today was the day for senior portraits."

"It is." Nikita answered.

"That's what you're wearing?" Amanda's voice was filled with disdain.

"I thought we covered this already, mother." Nikita replied. "Yes, this is what I'm wearing, yes it's senior portrait day. I have to go or I'm going to be late. Wouldn't you just hate that?"

"Go." Amanda nodded, put off for the moment.

"Glad to have your permission," Nikita said with a roll of her eyes.

"Nikita, why do you _insist_ on rebelling against me every chance you get?" Amanda demanded.

"Why do _you_ insist on showing your disappointment in me every chance you get?" Nikita shot back.

"I'll stop being disappointed in you when you stop giving me reasons to be disappointed." Amanda responded back harshly.

Nikita could feel tears begin to sting her eyes and quickly pushed them back. She could show no weakness, that would only fuel her mother's disappointment in her.

"Thanks for the love, mom." Nikita responded sarcastically before quickly fleeing out the door, slamming it behind her.

"What was that all about?" Percy Meers asked as he came from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in the hand.

"Oh, the usual." Amanda replied. "I'm the bad guy as usual."

"But of course." Percy smirked. "That's how things work in this house."

"Is it just too much to ask for our daughter show a little ambition? To take the proper steps into being the kind of daughter we raised?" Amanda asked with a sigh.

The smirk fell from Percy's face and it was replaced with disappointment. "I don't know, baby. Sometimes I think you didn't give birth to her at all."

***

Nikita practically sped to school and the car squeaked as it came to a stop, nearly hitting someone in her rage.

"Geez, Nikki what the hell!" Jade Jones yelled in shock.

Nikita sighed, the state she was in she'd go off on Jade even when she was the one in the wrong.

"Sorry about that," Nikita said briskly as she got out of her car.

"Sorry?" Jade's eyes were still wide from the near death experience. "You nearly killed me!"

Nikita rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Jade stop being so over dramatic." She slung her bag over her shoulders. "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

With that, Nikita took off leaving Jade to gaze after her friend in shock.

***

Nikita entered the school building and ran smack into Michael.

"Mr J," Nikita muttered, feeling all of her senses just fade away at the mere sight of him.

Michael steadied the girl who nearly crashed the both of them to the ground again. "Nikita," He said with a slight smirk. "I thought we talked about this."

Nikita nodded. "We did and you're just messing with me again, right?"

Michael smiled before shaking his head. "Actually not this time." The smile fell and it was replaced with slight worry. "I saw what happened in the parking lot."

The color drained from Nikita's face. "No one was hurt!" She blurted out in defense.

Michael shook his head and gave her a scolding look. "That's not the point, Nikita. You were speeding and you nearly hit Jade. It was reckless and you could've killed her."

Nikita turned away from him and put her face in her hands as she struggled to not lose it in front of him. Her morning had already been terrible and she didn't think she could take anymore criticism.

"Nikita," Michael wasn't trying to be cruel, but he needed her to get what she'd almost done and so far it just looked like she was trying to ignore him. "Listen, yo-"

Nikita spun around, her emotions on full force. "What?!" She shrieked, causing Michael's eyes to go wide. "What do you _want_ from me, huh?! You wanna tell me how disappointed you are in me?! You wanna tell me what's wrong with my dress and how I just suck at _everything_ I do?!"

"Nikita, please lower your voice." Michael advised, noticing the other kids starting to stare. "What's going on?" He asked softly. "Why are you getting so upset here? I'm just talking to you. You're not in any trouble."

Nikita covered her face with her hands to try and stop the tears. "I don't know what to do anymore," She cried brokenly.

Michael looked around and with all the students crawling around, he didn't see this as the best place to have a discussion that he clearly needed to have with her.

Something else was clearly going on with this girl or else she wouldn't have gotten so upset. He had this need to council a student whenever they were in any type of distress and it wasn't just that, he thought to himself. He liked this girl for reasons that went far beyond anything that they should have.

"Okay," Michael spoke gently, placing his hand on her shoulder as if to calm her some. "C'mon, Nikita. Come with me."

The second bell rang and Nikita quickly wiped her tears. "I can't," She choked out. "I'm really sorry for going psycho on you but I have to get to class. I can't be late."

Michael knew he should probably let her go, but for reasons that were selfish he couldn't. He needed to know what was wrong with her.

"I'll write you a pass, okay?" Michael assured her. "C'mon, come with me for a few minutes."

Nikita nodded. "Okay, I'll come with you."

***

"So," Michael said leading Nikita into his empty classroom and shutting the door behind him. "have a seat."

Nikita walked over to one of the desks in the front row and sat down.

Michael walked around and sat on his desk in front of her. "Wanna tell me why you got upset back there?"

Nikita sighed a little embarrassed. "It's been a bad morning, Mr J." She began softly. "That's not an excuse for me to endanger other people with my driving, nor was it an excuse to completely lose it on you back there." She looked up at him with a tiny smile. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Michael nodded. "I'm sorry for whatever I said that upset you. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about yourself."

Nikita nodded. "I know. You have to know that my outburst back there had _nothing_ to do with you, okay? It's been an awful morning and what you saw and heard was the direct result of a bad fight with my mother."

Michael raised his eye brow in concern. "You're having problems at home?"

Nikita laughed. "I'm _always_ having problems at home, Mr J." She quickly rushed to explain on when she noticed the frown and deep concern on her teacher's face. "No, no! It's nothing like that, I assure you. They don't beat me, I'm not in any danger."

Michael didn't appear to be convinced. "Listen, if something like that ever does happen, I don't want you to be afraid to tell so-"

"It won't and it never has!" Nikita said loudly, before calming down. "Listen, sadly there is no great bond between my parents and I but they have never laid a hand on me." Michael nodded, seeming to be convinced. "Not that they need to. Why beat me, when their words can do it for them?"

Michael looked concerned again. "They verbally abuse you?" That was a whole nother issue all together and in his book verbal abuse was just as bad if not worse than physical abuse.

Nikita sighed as she stood up. "Listen, there is nothing going on at home that I cannot handle, okay? Can this just be considered as like a teacher/student confidentiality thing?" She saw his hesitancy. "Please," She begged. "I am not in danger and they do not hurt me. If you were to tell someone, _you'd_ be the one that was hurting me."

That seemed to convince Michael, although he was still hesitant. "Okay, but I have to tell you if I _ever_ see a mark on you or if I suspect that they are hurting you, I will have no choice but to tell someone. That's not just my job as your teacher, that's my job as your friend."

Nikita stood still, seeming to be in shock at that last statement. "We're friends?"

Michael smiled warmly. "I'd like to think so."

"Isn't there like some kind of rule on teachers and students being in a relationship? Even a friendship one?" Nikita asked curiously.

Michael got up and walked over to her. She felt her heart flutter in her throat.

"Don't tell anyone, but there are some rules I don't follow. And since we're friends now you can call me Michael, atleast when we're not in class." He said with a softness and Nikita could've sworn there was some kind of huskiness to it as well.

Nikita smiled as she felt something wonderful shift in what was becoming such a bad day for her. "Okay, Michael. Your secret is safe with me."

Michael smiled in return. "As are yours, Nikita." He than took a step back from her. "I'll go get that slip."

"But I didn't even tell you the whole story." Nikita said somewhat confused.

"I didn't need the whole story." Michael responded.

"You didn't?" Nikita asked.

Michael shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, you ever wanna talk I'm here, and I'd like to hear it sometime, but that's not why I insisted on bringing you back here for a few minutes."

"Than why did you?" Nikita asked curiously.

"I didn't want you to go to class until I was sure you were okay, and I..." Michael trailed off.

"You what?" Nikita asked, her curiosity peaking.

Michael seemed to contemplate telling her this. "Can you keep another secret?"

Nikita smiled as she nodded. "Of course. I can keep lots of secrets."

Michael grinned. "Okay, I..." His face turned slightly serious. "I wanted to make you smile."

Nikita looked stunned and Michael winked at her and turned around to get the slip.

Nikita felt herself almost slump into the seat of the desk.

This was definitely new and terrifying territory.

She was on the fast paced road of falling in love with her teacher, and from the way he was looking at her, she had a feeling that maybe just maybe he was on that road with her too.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I know this is one of those controversial fics...hope you all stick with me on this one :)

Chapter 3

"Hey, Nikki over here!"

Nikita turned around, she had her lunch tray in hand as she recognized the familiar voice of her best friend.

She walked over to her best friend, Alexandra Udinov's table and almost wished she'd pretended she hadn't heard her when she saw the others she was greeted with.

"Hey, Alex!" Nikita forced herself to gush as if happy as could be. "What's up, everyone?"

"Actually, we wanted to ask _you_ that, Nikki." Alex replied.

Nikita took a seat and remained nonchalant. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Jade mentioned that you almost ran her over?" Alex gave her friend a pointed look.

Nikita inwardly grimaced. She should've realized Jade would spill that little tid bit. She was the gabbiest one in the whole bunch.

"Yeah," Nikita laughed nervously. "Sorry about that, Jade."

Jade shrugged. "It's cool. So, what was up with you disappearing with Mr J for a half hour?"

_I knew I should've gone out for lunch_, Nikita thought to herself. _But no I decided to eat in the lunch room with the firing squad_.

"He uh..." Nikita ran a hand through her hair. "He saw me nearly hit you and reprimanded me about it."

"Wow," Jade said surprised. "He always seemed to easy going."

Nikita shrugged. "Yeah, well all's not as it always seems. He's a jackass and a loser." She inwardly felt bad about badmouthing someone who had recently become a good friend to her, but she couldn't let them think she had anything going with Mr J.

Sure, they were all nice to her, but they could be lethal. She didn't want them getting the wrong impression or spreading false rumors around.

"I'm sure you told him who your parents are, right?" Alex spoke up. She saw something she couldn't quite place in her friend's eyes. This was all a front. Why, she could not figure out.

"I don't want any special treatment because my parents happen to own half this town," Nikita replied tensely.

"I don't get you, Nikki." Another girl from the table who was sitting next to Jade. "If I had your kind of power, I'd be using that right up. Why don't you?"

"I don't believe in abusing something just cause you have it," Nikita replied tersely. "I'll see you all later."

"Nikki," Alex called confused. "You just sat down. We have like forty minutes left."

"I think it's the lunch room or something guys," Nikita replied, the lie rolling right off her tongue. "I'm starting to feel stuffy."

"Do you want us to come with?" Alex asked concerned.

"Alex, she doesn't need you to hold her hand every five minutes," Jade teased.

Nikita forced a fake smile. "It's cool, Alex. I just need some air. See you all later,"

With that, Nikita took off out of the lunch room.

"You'd think she hates being around us or something," Sonya spoke up.

Alex looked at the girl sitting next to Jade before nodding her head. "Yeah, that's _exactly_ what you'd think..."

***

Nikita briskly walked from wing to wing until she was onto the junior wing.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Nikita whispered to herself. "I hate my friends..." She ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head. "No," She corrected herself firmly. "I hate who I become when I'm _around_ my friends and that's just the simple truth."

Nikita sighed as she slid down the lockers to the ground.

It was like whenever she was around them, she felt like she had to tell them what they'd want to hear.

It was no new thing, she'd been doing it ever since middle school. So, what had changed? Why was this bothering her now?

Than, it suddenly hit Nikita like a ton of bricks.

It was Mr J...Michael...her teacher...it was him.

He was rapidly becoming one of her best friends and she cared about him. For the first time since becoming best friends with Alex, she cared about someone more than she cared about herself or her stupid social rep.

That's why lying about him in such a negative manner had bothered her so much that she'd high-tailed it away from all of her friends.

It had hurt her to lie about him and that was the honest truth.

"Alex, where do you think she went?"

Nikita inwardly grimaced as she recognized Jade's voice.

"God, can't I have like five minutes to myself?!" Nikita groaned. She quickly stood up and scampered off in the opposite direction.

Ten minutes later, Nikita was still dodging her friends and it looked to her like she'd wound up right where she'd started off at.

With a sigh, she leaned against the lockers.

"You can come in here if you want."

Nikita's head snapped up at the familiar voice, she looked over and saw Michael sitting at his desk with a bunch of papers.

Nikita slightly smiled as she walked over to his door. "And why on _earth_ would I want to spend my remaining lunch time with you?"

"Hey, it's your choice." Michael shrugged. "Don't feel obligated or anything, but if you continue to run through the halls, another teacher might ask you to give up _all_ of your lunch time and not be as nice as I'm being." He looked up at her with a slight smirk. "But, hey it's your choice."

Nikita walked into his classroom and sat at the desk right in front of his.

"Wise move," Michael acknowledged with a smile.

"Was I really running?" Nikita asked.

Michael smiled. "Actually more like sprinting, but that doesn't change the fact that you still aren't supposed to be playing musical chairs in the hallways while other classes are in progress."

Nikita nodded. "I know, I know. Not the brightest move on my part."

"So, why were you?" Michael asked.

"I really wasn't playing a game or trying to interrupt a class, I was just trying to get a little peace." Nikita admitted.

Michael furrowed his eyebrow in concern. "What's going on?"

Nikita sighed. "It's my friends...they can be a little too much at times. I needed some space from them."

"You're avoiding your friends?" Michael asked her confused.

Nikita nodded. "I love them, Mr J, do not misunderstand me, but..."

"But?" Michael encouraged.

"But sometimes I wanna push them off a cliff!" Nikita blurted and than let out a breath. She felt some kind of relief at saying that, finally she had one person in her life she could be honest with.

Michael looked at her stunned before letting out a slight laugh. "Um, I gotta be honest Nikita, you caught me off guard with that one..."

"Sorry," Nikita laughed. "That was a little over dramatic, but you have no idea what it's like not to be able to be real with anyone. It's exhausting and it even makes you feel like sometimes you're going just a little crazy."

"You can be real with me, Nikita." Michael told her seriously.

Nikita smiled softly. "Thanks and that means a lot to me. I'm so tired of pretending with them and I kind of felt like I just couldn't do it anymore today, so I dodged them."

"Do you wanna talk about why?" Michael asked, his eyes studying her gently.

"I, um..." Nikita sighed as she decided to just be honest and upfront with him. "I kind of owe you an apology."

"For what?" Michael asked her confused.

"At lunch, I was sitting with my friends and I said some bad things about you." Nikita admitted and rushed on as if to stop him from thinking the worst of her. "I didn't mean them though!" She ran a hand through her hair. "I didn't mean _any_ of them. I just...God this is gonna sound so lame and superficial, but I only badmouthed you to my friends because I didn't want them to think there was something between us and start spreading false stuff around."

"What's superficial about that?" Michael asked her. "It sounds like your heart was in the right place."

Nikita sighed. "It was but it wasn't."

"Ok?" Michael was confused once again.

"Ok," Nikita placed her hands in front of her as she leaned forward. "this is the part where you're totally gonna think less of me..."

"I doubt it," Michael interrupted with a soft smile.

He was completely convinced that this girl was alot harder on herself than anyone else could ever be and he worried about what that kind of thing was doing to her self esteem.

Nikita paused and than looked up into his eyes. "Why?"

"Why do I doubt that I'll think less of you?" Michael asked.

"Why…_all_ of it?" Nikita asked him. "From the first day that I carelessly knocked you over making the both of us late...you've never been anything but nice to me. Why? Why are you always so nice to me?"

Michael slightly frowned. What had happened to this beautiful girl to make her think so less of herself? The more he thought about it he realized it had to be a who. It was a question of, who had happened to her. "Why do _you_ think I shouldn't I be?"

"Because..." Nikita sighed. "I'm a fake and a fraud. I'm not this great person that you think I am. You shouldn't want to be friends with me Mr..." She paused as she remembered that he told her she could call him Michael as long as class wasn't in progress. That made her feel worse. He truly thought of her as a friend. "Michael," She stressed. "You shouldn't want to be friends with me, you should want to get as far away from me as you can."

Michael looked at her sadly and his heart went out to her. "Why?"

"Because I'll just wind up disappointing you." Nikita admitted. "I disappoint everyone. All I _am_ is a disappointment..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"A disappointment?" Michael stood up and walked around his desk and took a seat in the one right beside Nikita's. "Oh, Nikita. I'm sure that's not true." She was beautiful, warm and kind. He couldn't see how she could ever be a disappointment and it saddened him beyond words that she thought so little of herself.

"Oh, but it is." Nikita chuckled bitterly. "Heard it my whole damn life."

"Nikita..." Michael was at a loss of what to say to her, of how to help her. She seemed so cynical and underneath her tough façade, he could see an innocent broken hearted girl trying to deal with a lifetime of pain and abandonment.

"Well," Nikita plastered on a fake smile. "Thank you for letting me hide out in here. This was a great talk, Mr J."

Michael frowned. She was shutting him out and that worried him. She needed to let somebody in or the pain was gonna consume her. God help him, he desperately wanted to be that somebody. "It's Michael, remember? We're not in class right now."

"No," The fake smile on Nikita's face was replaced by sadness. A sadness that broke Michael James's heart. "we're not. But uh…" She folded her hands in front of her which he could tell was a defensive stance, almost as if she was hesitant to tell him something. "Look, I don't think this friends thing is such a great idea."

"Why not?" Michael almost demanded.

Nikita ran a hand through her hair as she looked anywhere but into his eyes. "You're my teacher. It's just not a…"

"Don't." Michael cut her off sharply. "If you don't want to tell me why, that's fine. I won't force you, but do not lie to me, Nikita."

"Alright." Nikita replied with a hard edge laced in her tone. "You want the truth? Here it is. You've been really nice to me from day one. You've listened to me and I appreciate it. I truly do. I just…I honestly don't have any room in my life for a new friend."

"Oh." Michael said softly.

"I'm sorry." Nikita stood up, grabbed her bag and turned around to leave.

"Nikita, wait a second." Michael stood up.

Nikita sighed. He really wasn't making this easy for her. "Michael, please."

"I never asked you to be my friend, you know." Michael spoke softly behind her. "I never asked you to take on my problems, carry my burdens. I never asked you to do _any_ of that and I wasn't about to start now."

Nikita slowly turned around, confusion written all over her face. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. You don't want to be friends?" Despite what she'd just said to him, him not wanting to be her friend hurt her way more than it should have.

Michael took a step closer to Nikita. "I want to be _your_ friend, Nikita. I want to take on _your_ problems and I want to carry _your_ burdens."

Nikita's eyes were filled with unshed tears. "You…you…you want…" A tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away. "You're _asking_ to be my real friend, but you're not asking me to be yours?" He nodded. There was disbelief written in her eyes. "Seriously?!"

"Yeah." Michael breathed deeply. "Seriously. I wouldn't lie to you, Nikita. I would never lie to you."

"Why?" Nikita demanded. "Why would you? You must want something." Her tone took on a desperate one as she couldn't believe that someone could be so selfless for her. No one ever had before. "Everybody wants something."

"Not me." Michael said softly.

"Come on." Nikita laughed bitterly. "You're a guy, aren't you?"

Michael's eyes met Nikita's and read the insinuation in them. It shocked, saddened and disgusted him above all else. "I'm your teacher, Nikita. What you are suggesting is completely unethical not to mention wrong and depraved on so many levels." He spat at her harshly.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Nikita muttered.

Michael's eyes went wide and wave of intense anger washed over him. "Excuse me?!" He suddenly had the strongest urge to go find whoever had made her feel like she couldn't talk to someone without strings being attached and beat the shit out of them.

"Nothing." Nikita quickly shook her head. She'd opened herself up enough and was already regretting it. In her experience, you let someone in and it gave them license to shatter you. In her family, opening up, caring, shedding tears…they were all weaknesses. Nikita Meers hated being weak.

Michael glared at her and Nikita sighed. "Okay, not nothing. I don't feel like sharing though. That cool?" With a softer tone she added, "Maybe I'll tell you someday."

Michael nodded. "Fair enough."

"So, if you don't want anything from me than why are you offering to be my only real friend?" Nikita asked.

It saddened Michael that he would be her only real friend. She was too special, too beautiful not to be surrounded by a bunch of real friends. "You want the honest truth?"

"If you can bare it." Nikita said, her tone hard and tough.

Michael smirked. She was definitely a far cry from being Pollyanna, but he honestly believed that she was worth it. She was worth the time and the trouble. She was special and he was determined to make her see that, to make her believe that. "The honest truth is that I care about you. I honestly like you and…and you need me."

Nikita scoffed indignantly. "Please. I do not need anybody. I'm not some damsel in distress. "It's a tough world, remember? And this life is no fairytale, the only one who is gonna take care of me is myself. "

"That's it!" Michael shouted excitedly as if he'd just won something.

Nikita frowned and looked at him as if he'd grown two heads. "What's it?"

"That's why you need me, Nikita Meers." Michael grinned. "You are a cynical, self deprecating girl with absolutely no belief in happy endings."

Nikita glared at Michael. "You insult _all_ your friends this way or am I just special?"

"You are." Michael said seriously, the smirk gone from his face. He needed her to take this if nothing else he ever says to her seriously. "Special, that is. You are a _very_ special girl."

Nikita scoffed, that wasn't the first time somebody called her special but it was the first time she refused to believe the words. She was never going to be played a fool again by anyone . "Please." She turned to walk away and Michael lightly grabbed her arm.

"That's why you need me, Nikita." Michael said gently, he brushed a few strands of her hair back. "You gotta let somebody in."

Nikita swallowed roughly and turned around to meet his gentle and caring gaze. The caring, the gentleness, and the intensity in his eyes were all too much for her to take.

Nikita yanks her arm out of his grasp and turns around flees from the room.

She never once turned around.

Michael sighed deeply. And leaned back against his desk.

"I won't give up on you, Nikita Meers." Michael softly spoke aloud. "You have to let somebody in, you just have to. I'll be here when you're ready."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nikita ran straight into the women's restroom.

She stopped in front of the mirror.

She was breathing heavily.

Tears were streaming down her face.

She was gasping…choking on the sobs that were rising in her throat.

He'd gotten to her.

Michael James had really gotten to her and his words had terrified her.

_"You gotta let somebody in."_

"Why?" She asked aloud despairingly. "Why in the hell should I let _him_ or anyone else into my life, into my heart? Why? So they can shatter me even more than I already am?!"

Nikita shook her head and roughly wiped away her tears.

"No way in hell am I letting that happen." She firmly spoke aloud.

"Letting what happen?"

Nikita spun around, startled. "Alex."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Alex asked in a voice full of care and concern. "Me and the girls have been looking everywhere for you." She looked over her friend's fragile appearance. "You look a mess."

"It's nothing." Nikita replied. "I'm just having a really bad day is all."

"Well, what's going on?" Alex pressed. "You know I'm here for you."

Nikita sighed as against her better judgment she began to spill what was troubling her to her friend. "It all started this morning. My mom was a total bitch and she totally criticized my appearance like she always seems to do. I wound up leaving completely pissed and upset."

"Well, I'm sorry Sweetie but how long has your mom been a bitch for? Like forever, right? Isn't it time you got over letting her upset you?" Alex pointed out.

Nikita blinked back the tears that were caused by her own best friend not getting her. "Yeah, right." She answered weakly. "That wouldn't have bothered me, but then there's Mr J."

"You're _still_ upset cause he yelled at you this morning?" There was criticism written in Alex's eyes and Nikita regretted ever opening up to her. "Nikki not to be a bitch because you know I love you, but when are you gonna stop being such a drama queen? I really believe that if you could just let the little stuff go, you could actually be happy."

"Yeah," Nikita wiped away a stray tear and plastered on her world famous fake smile. "you're absolutely right, Alex. I need to stop being so ridiculous and I will."

Nikita quickly hugged Alex and pulled back, rushing toward the door before she completely broke down.

"Nikita?" Alex called out. "You're okay now, right?"

Nikita turned around, the fake smile plastered across her features. "Never been better."

Alex leaves and Nikita watches her go, still slightly worried but shrugs it off. She really didn't have time for any mini dramas.

Ok I know I'm totally having Alex be a really insensitive bitch, but I promise I have plans for her...much later into the story. Hope you guys liked this chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nikita took off down the hall.

She needed to see the one person who understood her, the one person she was scared to death of letting in and the one person she feared had already fought his way in.

Nikita stopped right in front of his classroom.

She hesitated a mid second before knocking lightly on his door.

"Come in." She heard him call out.

Nikita opened his door, walked in, and gently shut it behind her.

"Nikita," He said surprised. The smile instantly fell from his face and was replaced by worry when he saw her tear filled face. "What's wrong?"

"I um…" Nikita swallowed roughly. "I have a free period."

Michael's frown deepened. That wasn't an answer. "So do I."

Suddenly Nikita launched herself into his arms and gripped him tightly, burying her face into his chest.

Michael's arms instantly wrapped around her shaking form, but his expression was confused and still very concerned. "Nikita? What is it, Kiddo?"

"Don't." Nikita choked out as she cried stormily into his chest. "Please, don't tell me that this is wrong or inappropriate or that I'm being a total drama queen or whatever."

"Okay, okay." Michael said soothingly as he held on to her a little bit tighter. If she needed to be held than that is exactly what he would do. "It's alright, Sweetheart."

"You said that I needed to let somebody in and as much I hate it, I think you're it. So, can you…can you please just hold on to me and not let go?" Nikita hiccupped against him as she held on for dear life. "Can you please just not let go?" She whispered.

"Of course." Michael said gently without hesitation. In the state that she was in, he would've promised her anything. He would've promised her anything in the entire world to make her pain stop. "I won't let go of you Sweetheart, I promise."

He wasn't sure what had hurt her so bad to send her running to him for comfort, but he was thankful that she had to come to him. He was thankful she was opening up to him. He wanted to help her so badly. It was scaring him how much he cared for her. He was determined not to cross that line, he'd never cross that line. He was going to be her friend and if after graduation he still felt this strongly for her, than he'd tell her. He wasn't going to take advantage of her, he'd never hurt her like that.

"I'm here, Nikita." Michael gently whispered, his hand reaching up to gently hold her head. "Everything's going to be alright. I'm here and I won't let go of you."

Nikita whimpered against him as her tiny fist clutched his shirt even tighter in her grip. "Thank you." She weakly whispered.

Michael gently stroked her hair. "I won't abandon you. Ever." He fiercely promised her.

Nikita pulled back and looked at him aghast. What in the hell was he doing promising her that? "Don't! You can't…you can't promise me that! What are you doing promising me something that you know you're gonna end up breaking?"

Michael gently brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I can keep this promise."

Nikita shook her head furiously. She was furious. She was furious at him for making her need him to the point where she'd run to him when she was this upset and she was furious at him for making fake shit promises that he was no doubt going to be taking back the minute she was no longer here. "You don't know that! What about when I'm gone?! What about when I'm no longer your student, Michael?!" She shoved against his chest angrily. "What about when I'm no longer in this school or when it's the weekend even?! You can't-"

"I can!" Michael interrupted her, framing her face in his hands. He needed her to believe him. "I don't make promises I can't keep, Sweetheart. I can keep this promise. I am here, Nikita. Even if we're not…even if _I'm_ not here in this class room, I'm still here ya know?"

Nikita looked at him stunned and amazed. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I'm here." Michael firmly repeated, still gently holding her face and wipes away her fallen tears. "I will _never_ abandon you, Nikita. I am here."

Nikita tearily smiled at him as she reached out and touched his face in awe. No one had ever looked at her this way before and made her promises with such raw honesty.

"You're here." A half laugh, half sob escaped her. All of this was still so unbelievable to her. If anyone were to ever ask Nikita Meers years later, she would tell them that this right here, right now was the specific moment she fell for Michael James and fell hard. "No one's ever…"

Suddenly Nikita crashes her lips to Michael's, kissing him intensely and desperately.

Michael stiffens at first in both surprise and knowing that this was wrong no matter how right that it felt. His brain told him to push her away right now and stop this but the moment her tongue slides into his mouth, he instantly responds.

The attraction and the care he felt for her completely overrides his head. He grips her hips, pulling her closer to him. His hand reaches up and tangles in her hair.

He pulls her with him as he falls back into one of the chairs, his lips never leaving hers.

Nikita grinds herself against Michael's growing hardness.

Michael groaned, as he gripped her body to his even tighter.

God, he wanted her. He wanted her now. He wanted to come inside her and feel her warm heat all around him.

His hand reached up inside her shirt, cupping her soft breasts in his hand.

"Michael," Nikita moaned.

"God, Baby…" Michael looks up into her passion filled eyes and an intense wave of guilt comes over him.

What in the hell was he doing?!

His eyes scanned the atmosphere around them.

This was his classroom.

The same classroom that he taught in every single day and here he was about to fuck…no. He shook his head. He couldn't associate that crude word with the intense feelings that he felt for Nikita. He was falling for her. He almost made love to her…

A student.

He wanted and he almost made love to a seventeen year old student right here in his class room and the worst part was, he wouldn't have been able to regret it.

He didn't regret it.

Michael looked back into Nikita's desperate and unsure eyes as he realized that she must or would soon be having a wake up call herself about what almost transpired between them.

_Christ, what am I doing?_ Michael thought to himself ashamed.

Nikita had come on to him clear as day the way she had kissed him, but he should have known better.

Nikita was young and vulnerable. She was a seventeen year old child for Christ's sake. She'd come in here…she'd come to him distraught and in need of comfort. She needed a friend. She needed someone to hold on to her. She had not needed some perverted older guy taking complete advantage of her the way he'd just done.

For the millionth time he asked himself, _What is wrong with me?! Just moments earlier I'd swore that I'd never do this and than I go and almost do it?!_

He felt Nikita's lips pressed against his neck and her hand was working the buttons on his shirt.

Michael had completely come back to his senses and was painfully aware of how wrong this was despite how good and how right that it felt. He gently pushed against her. "Nikita." His voice was gentle yet urgent at the same time.

Nikita was so caught up in how much she wanted this man that his voice and his hands pushing against her weren't registering. She placed her lips against his and she felt Michael seize her by the shoulders, completely pulling away from her lips. He forcefully held her a few inches away from him, so that there was actual space and actual distance between them.

"Nikita, we have to stop. I'm so sorry, but we can't do this, okay?" Michael was gentle and his eyes grew pained at the devastation he saw in her eyes.

"Oh God." Nikita's eyes were filled with horror as she immediately got up off of his lap and straightened her skirt.

What was wrong with her?! This guy was her teacher for crying out loud. He was just trying to be her friend, he'd probably felt sorry for her and she goes and takes that as an invitation to throw herself at him like some kind of whore? What must he think of her?

Nikita's entire head was filled with self deprecating thoughts. Michael's reaction was like a slap in the face, but it was also the reality check that she'd needed. She needed to stop wanting him, stop letting him in. Now was the time to shut him out and shut him completely. He was never…there was no future for them.

"Mich-" Nikita breaks off, realizing she needed to set things back to their proper order. "Mr J…"

Michael shook his head, pained at the barriers that she was putting back up between them. She was letting him in and than he ruined it. Why did he let her kiss him? Why did he kiss her back? Why didn't he push her away? What in the hell had he been thinking? "Nikita, please. You don't have to…"

"Yes, I do!" Nikita interrupted him strongly. "My God." She shook her head, utterly disgusted and ashamed of herself…of her actions. "What you must think of me…"

"Nikita, no." Michael said sharply. He refused to let her take any of the blame and put herself down. He was the adult here. He should've pushed her away. "This isn't your fault. I don't think less of you. I could never."

Nikita looked at him in disbelief. "How could you not?!" She cried out. "I kissed you! I…I almost had sex with you! You! My teacher!" She held her head in her hands. "If you hadn't pushed me away…"

"I did though." Michael pointed out. " I did push you away and this…" He motioned between them. "what almost happened here isn't all on you. I kissed you back. I pulled you on top of me…"

"I don't need a replay!" Nikita shouted. "I was there!"

Michael sighed. "So was I. My point is I was here with you. I almost…I almost crossed a serious line and I am so sorry. It would've been the biggest mistake of my life to have-"

Nikita cut him off, unable to hear him tell her what a mistake she almost was to him. "You know what? We don't have to rehash this or make a big deal." She grabbed her things and headed for the door. "I won't tell anyone. You don't have to worry. I won't let what almost happened between us ruin your life or your career."

The last thing Michael wanted was for Nikita to leave here thinking that she was some kind of mistake to him. He'd wanted her, he'd wanted her badly. Making love to her wouldn't have been the mistake. The mistake would've been taking advantage of her vulnerability and hurting her. He knew he should let her go, but his heart couldn't bare the thought of her believing that he thought she was a mistake.

Michael battled between his heart and his head for a few moments. He saw her hand touch the door knob and he quickly rushed over to her. He couldn't let her leave this way. His heart had won out.

Michael's hand gently covered Nikita's.

"Nikita, please wait." Michael said gently. "That didn't come out right. You would not have been the mistake, being with you would not have been the mistake. The mistake would have been hurting you."

Nikita shook her head. "I almost ruined your career."

"I don't…I care about you, Nikita." Michael said softly and truthfully. "I _care_ about you."

Nikita's eyes were pained as she shook her head. "Michael, I'm not worth it."

Nikita pulled her hand out of his caring grasp and ran from the room, her mouth covered with her hand as tears streamed down her face.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long guys. Real life has been super hectic. Gonna try to update more regularly. Thanks to everyone that's still along for the ride!**

**Chapter 6**

"Nikita, wait!" In a flash, Michael quickly caught up to her, grabbed her hand and slipped her a piece of paper.

"Wh-?" Nikita choked, tears were streaming down her face. She felt embarrassed to be caught crying, especially in his presence. Especially after what had almost happened.

"It's my cell phone number, Nikita." Michael said quietly. "I always have it on me and I'll always answer. I meant what I said about wanting to be your friend, I do. I care for you so much and I know that something…_something_ other than what happened back there is hurting you. I want you to call me when you need to talk."

Nikita stared at him stunned. No one had ever done that for her before. No one had ever cared. "I don…"

"It doesn't matter how late it is or what time it is." Michael continued. "Nothing even has to be wrong okay? You can call me anytime for anything."

Nikita wiped away her tears. "Anything?"

"Anything." Michael confirmed. "If you're stuck some place you don't wanna be or you need a way out…call me and I'll come get you."

Nikita took a step back in disbelief. "Mr J, this has to go way beyond…teachers don't do this type of thing. Teachers don't give their students their cell phone number and pretty much offer themselves as a taxi service. Why are you doing this for me?"

"I told you, Nikita." Michael said softly. "I care about you and this is what friends do. They look out for each other." He sighs. "Look, I know that none of this is conventional. From a technical stand point, I should have let you go. I should've never told you to call me Michael, I should've never kissed you back and I shouldn't be giving you my number, but I did and I am. I don't regret any of what's happened with you. My only regret is that I didn't meet you sooner."

Nikita chuckled and Michael noticed that it was a sad one.

"What is it, Nikita?"

"It's just…are you for real?" Nikita asked, running a hand through her hair. "Seriously, are you for real cause the last time I checked knights and good guys died off a long time ago."

"I'm no knight." Michael replied with a shake of his head. "I'm just a man, Nikita. I'm just a man."

"It's nice of you all the same." Nikita said. "I have to go." She turned away and turned back around. "I um…I care too." She looked up into his warm and caring eyes. "Way more than I should." She turned back around and left.

Michael felt himself smile as he watched her walk away, her dark hair bouncing against her shoulders.

_She cares about me too_, Michael thought and felt his heart flutter.

Flutter…

Michael's smile dropped as he realized what was happening, what had already happened.

It was in this moment that he realized that he had fallen hard for Nikita Meers.

Michael backed into his classroom, shutting the door and sliding down against it.

"Oh, shit."

"Hey, Nikki!"

Nikita sat in the desk as she pulled out her history book. "Oh, hey Alex." She forced a fake smile. She was still hurt from their last encounter.

Alex grinned back, completely oblivious. "So, me and the girls were talking….and you know what I think is the perfect solution to your downness?"

Nikita sighed. _No_, she thought to herself slightly annoyed. _But I'm sure you're gonna tell me_. "What's that, Alex?"

"A party!" Alex chirped full of bubbliness.

_Oh God. _Nikita thought to herself semi horrified. She hated parties. It was just another function she had to fake more happiness at. She was so tired of pretending all the time to everybody that she was happy when in fact she was fucking miserable.

"No offense, Alex but I'm really not in the party mood…"

"You're coming, Nikki!" Alex stated authoratively . "Quit being such a stick in the mud. This is our senior year!" She grinned. "Senior! You know how long we've waited for this year, it's the perfect time to have a party."

Nikita ran a hand through her hair as she fought to search for some way to get out of this thing. "It's like only our second week, Alex."

Alex frowned. "So?"

"So, as _awesome_ as this party sounds…." Nikita put all her enthusiasm into sounding like she cared. "Don't you think it would be even more awesome if you had this at the end of this year?"

Alex appeared thoughtful and Nikita had a smidge of hope that her friend was listening to her for once. "Oh my God, Nikki!" Alex had the hugest grin on her face and it terrified Nikita. Nikita knew that grin. What had she just put into her head? "You are like a genius!"

"Oh God," Nikita muttered under her breath in disdain.

"We'll have _two_ parties!" Alex gushed. "We'll have a party tomorrow night to celebrate how amazing this year is gonna be and on graduation we'll have a _graduation_ party! Oh my God, you so rock Nikki!" Alex leaned across the isle to squeeze her friend tightly before letting go to pull her books out.

"Yay me." Nikita muttered dryly.

Just then the teacher came in, and the class quieted down.

Nikita spent the rest of that class and the next for that matter wondering what in the hell she was gonna do now.

It was about four thirty when Nikita pulled into the driveway of her mansion.

Nikita sat in her car for a few more moments, her head still spinning from her conversation with Alex.

"A party." Nikita spoke aloud. "I have to go to not one, but _two_ fucking parties?!" She groaned and than her eyes lit up a bit as a thought struck her. "What are the odds she'll believe I'm sick?"

Nikita shook her head, she'd figure something out. She always did.

She grabbed her bag and got out of the car, walking up the driveway and inside her house.

"Nikita!"

Nikita was taken aback by her parents cheeriness. "Hello."

"How was school?" Percy asked.

Nikita dropped her bag in shock. "You never ask me that." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, Nikita must you always be so paranoid?" Amanda asked in dismay.

Nikita shrugged, she'd never figure those two out. "Oh, well it was good. History was-"

"We just got off the phone with Alex's mother." Amanda interrupted.

Nikita just smirked. Of course. She knew there was no way in hell they actually gave a damn about her day at school. They always wanted something from her. "Yeah, about that….I think I'm coming down with somet-"

"Nikita Meers, you're going to that party." Percy interrupted her firmly. "It's time you do something for this family other than for yourself."

Nikita just looked at them agape. When had she EVER done something for herself?! It was always 'we need this, we need that.' There was never any TIME for her to be selfish.

Percy and Amanda got up. "We have a ballet to go to. I do expect for you to go shopping tonight or tomorrow and get yourself something suitable." Amanda told her as she eyed her appearance critically. "You have a name to uphold."

With that they left, shutting the door behind them.

Nikita picked up her bag and walked up the stairs, to her room. She shut the door and slung her bag on her chair.

"I'm so sick of living for everybody but myself!" Nikita shouted angrily.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out Michael's cell phone number. He had told her she could call him for anything at anytime. She really did need someone to talk to.

_It wasn't just that_, she thought to herself. She wanted to hear his voice, needed to hear his voice. It always brought a calmness to her.

She grabbed the cordless and began to dial.

Michael James had just gotten inside the door of his house, when he heard his cell going off.

He placed the groceries on the counter, as he grabbed his cell and pressed talk. "Hello?"

"Um, hey." Nikita's voice sounded slightly unsure. "It's Nikita. You said that I could call you…"

"Of course." Michael quickly said. "You can call me. Is….Is something wrong?"

"Kind of…sort of…" Michael could hear the trouble in Nikita's voice.

"What's going on?" Michael asked concerned.

"You're not a teacher right now, right?" Nikita asked timidly. "I mean, anything that I say…you're not gonna…"

"Anything that you choose to tell me, strictly stays between the two of us." Michael assured her. "What's wrong?"

"Everything." Nikita admitted. "My friends and my parents they want me to do something. They want me to go to something, but I don't wanna go, Michael. If I go, than I have to pretend I'm happy and I think you and I both know that I am _not_…"

"Where do they want you to go?" Michael asked. "I mean, if you want to tell me. You don't have to if…"

"No, it's fine." Nikita replied. "Alex is having this party…to celebrate senior year. I thought I'd talked her out of it," She chuckled bitterly. "but what I wound up doing was giving her the astounding idea of having two f-" She broke off. "Sorry. Two parties."

Michael laughed softly. "It's alright. We're not in class, you can speak freely."

"Okay," Nikita replied. "If I can speak freely, than I fucking _hate_ this! My friends…my parents….they all want me to be something I'm not! And the worst part is…I don't think they care! I know my parents don't."

"Nikita," Michael had a very hard time believing that her parents were really as heartless as Nikita made them out to be. "of course your parents care. Did you try talking to them?"

"Yes!" Nikita shouted. "I tried and they told me that I needed to stop being selfish and think of the family. They said I have a name to uphold."

Michael frowned. "Wow, that's…I'm really sorry, Nikita. So, you have 'those' parents, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Nikita asked confused.

"I mean, you obviously…I mean, it sounds like you have socialite type parents. You know, the kind that care more about what people will think of them and their status, then they do…." Michael trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"It's okay, Michael." Nikita replied. "You can say it. They care more about their status than they do me. It's cool."

Michael frowned. "It's not okay and how can you be cool with that? They're your parents, Nikita. I don't care that they were born with a silver spoon up their ass or not…it's their job to take care of you, to put you first. And they are not."

Nikita lightly chuckled at the silver spoon part, and than her tone came out in sadness. A sadness that broke his heart. "Michael…I made my peace with my parents not loving me a long time ago."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Yeah I know I have Alex totally OOC in this, but I still plan on redeeming her. There's angst ahead, so grab tissues!

**Chapter 7**

"_Michael, I made my peace with my parents not loving me a long time ago." Nikita said sadly._

_Michael felt his heart break at that statement. No one should ever feel or even think that their own parents don't love them. It was just devastating. "Nikita, that can't be true, Sweetheart."_

_There was silence and after a few moments had passed, Michael was sure she may have hung up. "Nikita?"_

"_You uh…" He heard Nikita chuckle slightly, a hint of disbelief and nervousness. "You just called me 'Sweetheart'." _

"_Oh, uh…" __**That's brilliant, dumbass**__, Michael thought to himself sarcastically. __**How the hell do you explain that one away? **__"I'm sorry, Nikita. I didn't….you know…" He closed his eyes, cringing over his words and how he had no idea how to explain this to her. "I use it a lot with my friends and I just wasn't thinking. It was inappropriate and I apologize."_

"_Right." Nikita's voice sounded overly cherry in a fake way and he could've sworn he heard a slight tremor in her voice. "You know what? I've gotta go."_

_**Shit. I've hurt her. Damn it to hell. **__"Nikita, what's wrong? I didn't mean to…"_

"_No, you're fine!" And there it was again, that damn fake cheeriness. "It's just…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "It's stupid."_

_Michael felt his heart dropping and he felt himself panic over not knowing what he did or how to fix it. "What's stupid?"_

"_Me…I am…" He heard her voice get choked up slightly and it brought a tear to his eyes. "It's stupid of me to think that you could __**ever**__…"_

_Michael closed his eyes pained. "Nikita, swe…" He cursed himself again as he nearly did it again. It was becoming hard for him now that he'd realized that he truly had fallen for her. "That's not…"_

"_Michael, it's fine." Nikita insisted once again, her voice sounding more controlled. "I really do have to go."_

"_No, wait." Michael almost shouted, his voice desperate. "Tell me what's wrong. You called me because everything was wrong. Please, just talk to me."_

"_I already told you!" Nikita shouted and than calmed herself. "I have to go to this party that I don't feel like going to and now I have to go buy a dress that MY parents and everyone else will deem acceptable…"_

_Michael shook his head, angry with her parents and everyone else in her life that made her feel like she had to be everything but herself. "Nikita, you don't have to __**do**__ anything…you don't have to __**be**__ anything for anyone but yourself."_

"_That's a nice fantasy, Michael but…"_

"_It's __**not**__ a fantasy!" Michael snapped before taking a breath. "Please, listen to me. You matter, they don't. You are the most important thing and don't' let anyone ever tell you differently."_

"_Why couldn't I have met you later?" Nikita muttered. "Why couldn't you have just been an ordinary guy?"_

_Michael knew what she meant, but he selfishly wanted to know where her head was at, how she felt about him. "I am an ordinary guy…"_

_Nikita chuckled bitterly. "That's not what I….forget it. I do have to go and shop for that dress. I'll talk to you later?"_

_Michael sighed. "Of course you will. You can call me anytime for anything, you know that. I'll see you in class tomorrow, yeah?"_

"_Yeah." Nikita breathed before hanging up._

It was the next day, well more like the end of the day. That conversation had gone through Michael's mind all day.

Earlier in his class she'd seemed just miserable and distant. She hadn't even come in to see him during lunch and that had him worried.

She was so young and so vulnerable and her life was just in shambles. She didn't have anybody and he wanted to be her somebody.

He was falling for her and he knew that it was crazy. He'd only known her a few weeks and he had had other girlfriends, but he'd never felt them a fraction of what he felt for Nikita. Their conversation last night had Michael thinking that maybe just maybe she was falling for him too.

He had to be her teacher, her friend and he had to be fair to her. He had to let her be a teenager and if after graduation he still felt this way for her and he still felt like she did too, than he would tell her. After graduation he would go to her and he would tell her what was in his heart for her.

"Michael?"

Michael turned around, startled at the familiar voice and he was stunned at the appearance of Nikita.

Make that stunned at the drop dead gorgeous version of Nikita. She was in a blue dress that went above her knees and her straps were spaghetti. She was stunning.

"Nikita." Michael breathed. "You…you look beautiful."

Nikita slightly blushed. "Um, thanks. You look great too."

Michael smirked. "You saw me a few hours ago. I didn't change."

Nikita shrugged. "Yeah well um…I just meant…" She walked further into the room. "So, I'm going to that party."

"Yeah, I figured that. I mean, by your appearance and all." Michael smiled and than he frowned.

"What?" Nikita asked worried.

"You sure this is what you want?" Michael asked her. "Last night, you were so conflicted and you said you didn't want to go."

Nikita shrugged again. "Well, I don't necessarily want to go to school either, but do I have a choice in that?"

Michael chuckled. "Not the same, Sweetheart." He sighed as he saw her eyes dim at the name. "I'm sorry, I…"

"It's fine, Michael." Nikita replied. "You can call me whatever you want."

"No, I _can't_." Michael replied tightly. "You're my student and it's completely inappropriate for me to call you…for me to call you anything but your name. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Nikita said quietly. "Right. I um…I kind of liked it is all."

"Oh." Michael said softly.

"No one's ever called me that before." Nikita admitted. "It was kind of…nice is all. It made me feel…"

"What?" Michael asked, despite objections telling him not to.

"Special." Nikita breathed.

Michael took a step closer to her. "You _are_ special, Nikita."

Nikita shook her head as she took a step back. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe when he was close to her. She did impulsive things, like throwing herself at him. "No, I'm not." She turned away, tears stinging in her eyes.

Michael gently grabbed her arm, turning her to him and cupping her face in his hand tenderly. "You _are_ special…Sweetheart." He repeated gently.

Nikita breathed and she caught his scent. God, his scent was intoxicating. He was so close to her again, so close like last time. "To you?"

She noticed a dark haze come over his eyes as he nodded. "Yes." He whispered roughly. "To me."

"Michael," Nikita breathed. "I…" Here came impulsive again, because before Michael could even blink, Nikita had jumped into his arms, her arms wounding tight around his neck and was crashing her lips to his.

Michael caught her in his arms, he kissed her back heatedly.

God, she was so beautiful and she felt so right pressed up against him. He'd never wanted anyone more in his life.

"Nikita," Michael groaned against her lips. "baby…what are you doing to me?"

"I…" Nikita lifted herself up to wrap her legs around his waist. "I want you."

Michael's eyes widened, there had been signs and he had felt it but just hearing her say those words to him…it did something to him.

"You don't…" He pushed her against the wall lightly, her still wrapped around him. "Oh God, you don't know what you're doing."

"Michael…" Nikita grabbed his hand, placing it on her thigh. He groaned. "Please."

Michael still fought against the desire he felt for her, still feeling like this wasn't right. "Nikita, this can't…"

"I'm falling for you!" Nikita blurted and Michael's eyes went wide and he looked shocked. "I want you! I want this! I only feel…I only feel close to being happy when I'm _with_ you."

"Oh, Nikita." Michael looked at her sorrowfully, her confession like a bucket of ice water on him. He let go of her and untangled himself from her. "This isn't…I'm not the one for you."

Nikita shook her head. "You are! You're the only one I can be real with and you're always there for me. You gave me your number…"

Michael sighed. She was saying all these things that he wanted to hear her say to him, but it was too early. She was still his student and he couldn't take away her youth by allowing her to be with him.

"I want to be your friend, Nikita. I _am_ your friend. That's it. There's nothing else between us other than that. There can't be." Michael looked away from her tear-filled eyes, pain etched in his own.

Nikita felt her heart constrict painfully. "But you…you said I was special. You kissed me back! You were…" She blinked back tears as she looked at him desperately. "You have feelings for me, right? I know that you do!"

_Feelings? I'm fucking in love with you_, Michael thought to himself angrily, but he couldn't tell her that. It wasn't the right time. He couldn't be selfish.

"Nikita," Michael forced his voice to sound controlled and not like it was about to break. "I am your teacher there is _nothing_…for you and me."

Nikita's face completely fell and for a second Michael thought she was going to cry but instead she masked her face with a coldness. A coldness and an indifference that broke his heart and almost made him take it all back. And if he knew what things would be like…what she would be like the next time he saw her, he would've taken it back. He would've taken it all back and confessed.

"Oh." Nikita said softly, coldly. "I see. Sorry, I bothered you."

With that, Nikita took off, almost running out of the room.

It took everything Michael had not to just run after her and pull her into his arms and tell her that it was a lie and that he did love her. He loved her so much.

He wanted the best for her, and a relationship with her high school teacher who couldn't even take her out publicly was not the best for her. After graduation, he would tell her. He would tell her what was in his heart and what she was to him. He only prayed it wouldn't be too late by then.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! This chapter has a trigger warning for sexual assault. So be forewarned! Please review!

**Chapter 8**

"Nikki!" Alex chirped cheerfully as she threw her arms around Nikita's neck. "You're here!"

"Of course!" Nikita forced out with fake happiness. "Where else would I be?"

"Oh!" Alex pulled back, not even questioning her friend's happiness. "This is gonna be the greatest party ever!"

"Yep!" Nikita forced a grin.

Alex frowned as she looked her friend over. She knew Nikita well enough to know when she appeared to be hiding something. "Hey…you okay?"

"Course!" Nikita lied, putting on her best fake smile. "Never better."

Alex smiled, content with the lie her friend had just given her. It was pretty much what she'd wanted to hear, so she didn't even question it. "Awesome. Well, I gotta go find Sean, why don't you go grab a drink and you just enjoy the party."

Nikita nodded. "Yeah, okay."

Meanwhile over at Michael's house, he'd called his brother to come over for dinner.

Truth was, the last encounter with Nikita had him so upset and so tied in knots. He needed an outsider's point of view on the whole thing.

"Okay, so you really care for this girl? This….uh…Nikita, right?" Birkhoff asked.

His brother had been talking to him about this girl for quite some time. He had tried to tell him that it wasn't the best idea falling for an underage student, but he knew how his brother was when it came to his heart, he didn't think rationally, never has.

Michael sighed. "Care? Birkhoff….I…" He runs a hand through his hair. "Jesus, who the fuck am I kidding? I love her, man."

Birkhoff appeared stunned but there was no judgment, and that was saying a lot considering he was a police officer but Michael was his brother. He may not condone this but he would never judge him. "Wow. That uh…that's…"

"Fucked up, I know." Michael cut in sharply. "Believe me, I've _tried_ to get her out of my heart and it's just not happening..."

"Hey," Birkhoff held up a hand. "I never said that, Michael. I would never judge you, I hope you know that."

"How could you not?" Michael continued on. "How could you not think it's fucked up or judge me?" His eyes went dark and Birkhoff could see the self loathing in his brother's eyes. "She's seventeen, Birkhoff! She's a child, she's my _student_!"

"We can't help who we love, Mikey." Birkhoff replied honestly. "We can't _choose_ who we love, it just happens. And while I'm inclined to agree with you that this is ten thousands types of wrong and illegal, I might add," He chuckled. "It might also just be ten thousand types of right…for you."

"Well, does almost having sex with that student just happen?" Michael threw out, not missing his brother's shocked look. "Does it?! And is that ten thousand types of right?! Because it has almost happened twice with her! Twice, Birkhoff! I…I wanted her! My God, I want her and I know that it's wrong and completely unethical and a thousand other things, but it doesn't change the fact that I _want_ her. It doesn't change that I _love_ her!"

Birkhoff sighed. "Michael…" He wasn't sure what to say to his brother other than the obvious. "I can't give you an easy explanation. I agree with you, this is pretty crazy but the heart isn't always the most sane thing in our body."

"I am a horrible person, Birkhoff." Michael choked out, blinking back tears. When he thought of the look on Nikita's face tonight when he rejected her, when he did what he knew was best for her…it just broke him up inside.

Birkhoff was pained to see his brother so upset. "No, Mikey. You are not, you are a good man. A man I am proud to call my brother. If you weren't a good man, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. You wouldn't even be feeling remorse for this situation that you're in."

Michael shook his head, roughly wiping away his tears. He didn't deserve to cry. He wasn't the one who literally had no one and had just been rejected by the one person who swore he'd never abandon her. "I hurt her. I hurt Nikita. I broke her heart, I know I did. The look in her eyes…"

"How so?" Birkhoff softly asked.

"She poured her heart out to me, man. She told me that she was falling for me, that she wanted me." Michael breathed deeply. "If you knew her…She doesn't trust anybody. She doesn't _have_ anybody and I told her that I would never lie to her, never abandon her. I convinced her to believe in me and than I told her we had nothing."

"I'm sure you had your reasons. You feel bad for loving her because she's so young, right?" Birkhoff assumed.

"She's a senior in high school. This is supposed to be the greatest years of her life." He shook his head. "I couldn't let her give all of that up to be with a man who can't even take her out in public. We'd have to constantly hide. What kind of life is that for her? And as you so tactfully pointed out before….it's ten thousand types of illegal."

Birkhoff sighed. "And if you remember, I also said it could very well be ten thousand types of right for you, Mikey. Maybe you need to treat her like an adult and let her make her own decisions. You love her and if she loves you, than maybe you shouldn't fight that."

Michael cocked his eyebrow at his brother curiously. "Are you encouraging me to hook up with a seventeen year old?"

Birkhoff laughed. "Um, no. I am telling you to follow your heart. I want you to be happy and if it's her, that's great. I hold no objections. Just…if this does happen to work out with her, I only suggest you hold out on being intimate with her until she's of age. Just to…just to cover your ass."

Michael chuckled and then turned serious. "So, you think I should tell her that I lied? You think I should tell her that I do love her?"

"I think you should be honest with her." Birkhoff replied. "I think you should tell her what's in your heart and what you want for her. If you think it's wise to wait to get together until she graduates than tell her that. Don't wait. If you wait until graduation to tell her all of this, you could lose her. Could you handle that?"

Michael took a deep breath before shaking his head. "No. No, I couldn't handle that. I love her too much to lose her forever."

Birkhoff smiled. "You are a good man, Mikey. You know the right thing to do. I'm not talking about the right thing society wise, I mean the right thing for you and for her."

Michael nodded. "Yeah, I uh…I do know. I have to be straight with her. I have to tell her that I love her." He sighed deeply.

That was gonna be difficult with how cold he'd been to her tonight. He saw in her eyes that she'd believed him when he told her that they'd had nothing. What if he couldn't convince her of the truth?

Birkhoff frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I just…I just keep picturing her face when I told her there was nothing between us. It was…she got so cold, so detached. I failed her, I let her down." There was deep regret and sadness in Michael's eyes. "I promised her I would never abandon her and in one quick motion I did everything I promised her I wouldn't do. What if she doesn't forgive me?"

"If you don't tell her the truth, Michael you may never get the chance to find out." Birkhoff pointed out. "And take it from me, a guy with a lot more life experience than you….you don't wanna have that kind of regret. You don't wanna wake up one day and realize you let the only woman you could ever really love truly vanish from your life."

Michael nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I just…I just pray to God that she forgives me."

It had been an hour into the party and all Nikita could think about was Michael and what he'd said to her.

Nikita downed a shot of tequila, determined to forget about him, about everything. She just wanted to go numb for a little while and than go home and crawl into bed.

She'd had seven shots so far and she was feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Nikita?"

Nikita spun around at the voice, nearly losing her balance.

Yeah, she was feeling pretty drunk off her ass.

Her gaze focused on the person in front of her. "Um…Sane?"

He laughed. "Uh, no. Sam, actually. Sam Matthews. You were close though."

Nikita shot him an apologetic look. "Oh, sorry. Sam, of course. You're in one of my classes, right?"

Sam grinned. "Yep. History and psych. So, wow!"

"What?" Nikita asked confused.

"You just look so beautiful tonight, Nikita." Sam replied. "Your dress and your hair….wow, I must sound so lame to you."

Nikita blushed slightly. "It's ok. Thanks, Sam. That's a sweet thing to say."

"So, I came over here and noticed that you seemed really down." Sam commented. "Wanna talk about it?"

Nikita chuckled. "Not even a little bit. Just a bad day is all. Trying to relieve a little anxiety here."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I hear that. You uh…"

"What?" Nikita asked curiously.

"You wouldn't wanna dance would you?" Sam asked.

"Well, I kind of do need to be finding my friends…" Nikita trailed off.

Sam smiled. "C'mon, Nikita. Just one dance?"

Nikita looked up into his eyes. They seemed so nice and so not Michael. Maybe if she danced with him, it would take her mind off of how hurt she was.

"Ok, why not?." Nikita smiled. "I'll dance with you."

Sam grinned. "Alright."

Sam took a hold of her hand and pulled her in close to him. Tightly. Almost a little too tight for Nikita's comfort level.

Nikita was beginning to feel her head sway and he was pretty much holding her up.

Her friends….

She really should find her friends. It had been at least a couple of hours.

The song had ended and Sam pulled back from her. "You wanna go for a quick ride with me? Have some fun?"

Nikita liked this guy, he was cute and all, but she really needed to find her friends and there were alarm bells that were instantly going off in her head at the prospect of being alone with this guy. She barely knew him and he was coming on kind of strong.

"I really should be finding my friends. It's been over an hour and I need to get some studying done." Nikita replied.

"C'mon," Sam smiled his charming smile. "just a quick ride. I wanna show you something and than I promise I will bring you back."

Nikita looked hesitant.

"C'mon," Sam coached. "Come with me and I'll guarantee you the best fun you've ever had."

Nikita looked up at him intrigued. "How could possibly guarantee something like that?"

Sam grinned. "Come with me and I'll show you."

Again, Nikita was hesitant. She was kind of drunk and once again she was reminded that she barely knew this guy. Going off with him alone wasn't something she should be doing. "Sam, I really should…"

"C'mon, Nikita." Sam once again insisted. "Just one car ride."

_Nikita don't do this,_ She could hear Michael's voice in her head and in that moment she desperately wanted his voice out_. _

"Ok," Nikita gave in. "just a ride, but not long."

Sam grinned. "Oh, trust me. This won't take long."

Nikita went with him and he showed her to his car. She got in and closed the door. Sam came around on the other side.

"Ok, you have got to try this, Nikita." Sam handed Nikita an unmarked bottle.

"What is this?" Nikita asked curiously.

"It is the greatest drink you'll ever have." Sam smiled. "It's totally got a kick to it."

Nikita opened the bottle and had she been sober, she would've never done this but she was still so distraught over the Michael thing and she desperately wanted to feel anything else.

Once she drank it, she really began to feel things spin.

"You ok?"

Nikita shook her head. She felt like she was gonna pass out. "Sam, I…I really think I need to lay down."

"Sure thing." Sam replied. "I'll help you to a room."

Nikita nodded, beginning to feel really out of it to even bother to question what kind of motives this guy might actually have. "Ok."

A few minutes later, they were up the stairs and into a room.

Sam shut the door. "Finally, all alone."

"What do you mean?" Nikita's head felt heavy and she couldn't really focus too well on anything.

"Well, now the party can really begin." Sam smirked as he walked closer to her, grabbing her and forcing his lips roughly to hers.

Nikita pushed at him, weakly standing up. "No. You got…you have the _wrong_ idea."

"No, I think I have the right idea." Sam grinned as he shoved her onto the bed, getting on top of her.

"No!" Nikita pushed at him again. "You're going too fast. I don't want this."

This was stupid. She was so stupid. Why did she go off with him? Why did she come to this party to begin with? She should've just listened to Michael.

"Too bad," Sam replied. "I do." He took his shirt off and pushed her back again, attacking her neck, his lips roughly bruising her skin,

"No!" Nikita yelled, panic sweeping over her as she shoved at him. This couldn't happen. Not to her. She wasn't gonna let this happen.

She reached behind her, trying to feel for her phone so she could press the one dial that would go straight to Michael's phone, so someone would know she was up here, but she felt nothing. Than, she was struck with the horrifying reality that she didn't have her phone. She'd left it downstairs with her bag, turned off. "Get off me now! Get off!"

Sam grabbed Nikita's hands, pinning them above her head roughly. "Look, Nikita, I'm much stronger than you. You won't win. Just lay back and enjoy it."

But Nikita wouldn't. She couldn't. She'd never had sex before and she'd be damned if it would be this way and with this ass.

"No!" Nikita lifted her leg up, kicking him directly in the balls.

Sam groaned. "Stupid bitch."

Nikita got up from the bed and ran to the door, opening it. "ALEX, HEL-!" The door gets slammed back shut by Sam who had just come up behind her.

Sam spun her around roughly, pinning her against the door. "Don't make one more fucking sound!" He hissed. "I always get what I want, Nikita."

"No," Nikita whimpered as she felt him kiss her neck. "No, please!" She was full on sobbing now and felt any hope of getting out of this situation die. This was really going to happen to her and there was nothing she could do about it, there was no one who was going to come to her rescue.

"Always," Sam repeated and threw her down on the bed and got on top of her. He put his hand over her mouth. "this time will be no different,"

Nikita's screams became muffled against his hand, she kicked and kicked with all of her might but his stronger legs trapped her weaker ones down.

Sam roughly shoved her dress up. "No underwear, huh?" He smirked as she cried against him. "I knew it. You want me. You dressed this way for me, my whore…"

_Michael_, Nikita thought hopelessly. _I dressed this way for him and he didn't…he doesn't want me…he doesn't love me._

"No!" Nikita shouted again. "I don't want you! Get off of m-!"

"Shut up!" Sam roared, slapping her across the face hard. His hand went to his jeans, unbuckling them, the sound making Nikita cry even harder. "See, I was gonna be nice about this, but who am I kidding? A girl like you…who dresses the way you have…you don't _deserve_ nice."

Sam pulled out his hard cock and jammed it inside her as she screamed out in pain. The agony of this act, of this violent act being how this would be her first time to just tearing her in two.

All she could think about was Michael. She'd wanted it to be with Michael, but he didn't love her, he didn't want her.

After this….

After this she was certain no one ever would again.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I wanna thank all of you for the reviews! I know it's all gotten dark and angst but if you stick with it, there will eventually be a light! I know I have Alex being totally OOC and I do apologize but like I've been saying, I have plans for her, lol.

**Chapter 9**

Nikita Meers came to about fifteen minutes later.

She opened her eyes and tried to focus.

Everything was hazy and distorted.

Nikita turned to look next to her and saw the sleeping form of Sam.

Instantly, flashbacks of the rape came hurling at her. She whimpered as she scurried off of the bed and ran over to the door.

She yanked the door open and stumbled out. She noticed a phone sitting on a table in the hallway. She walked over to it and picked it up, shakily dialing 911.

"_911, what is your emergency?" _Came a calm female voice.

Nikita was breathing heavily, part of her still felt drunk and not in a good way. "I need…" She grabbed the table for support. "I need help."

"_Could you please state the nature of your emergency, maim?"_

"What?" Nikita's head was pounding and the voice on the other end was starting to sound more and more far away.

"_Could you please state the nature of your emergency?"_ The operator repeated calmly. _"Do you need paramedics?" _The voice stayed calm to explain. There was not a single hint of frustration.

Nikita let out a tiny cry. "I'm so scared."

"_Is there someone with you? Can you speak freely?" _The operator asked, still calm.

"There's someone." Nikita said before she felt her remaining strength fade away and darkness completely overtook her.

"Thank you for everything, bro." Michael said as he opened the door for his brother. "You have no idea how much you've helped me tonight."

Birkhoff smiled. "Well, I'm happy I could help you, bro. I love you, I just want you to be happy." He smirked as a glint of amusement came into his eyes. "Even if your happiness is with a seventeen year old who could get you thrown in jail."

Michael groaned. "You know something, I'm actually not…"

Birkhoff raised his hand in understanding. "Not ready to joke about it yet? Say, no more. Seriously, though…I am happy you've finally found love."

"That is if she ever forgives me." Michael sighed.

"Hey, she's gonna forgive you, Mikey." Birkhoff assured him. "You just tell her everything like you told me. She'll get it."

"I really hope so." Michael said softly.

Just then, a beeping starting going off.

"Are you on duty?" Michael asked curiously.

Birkhoff groaned. "I am now. Have I mentioned how thrilled I am that you didn't follow in my footsteps and become a police officer?" Michael chuckled. "Seriously, I have almost no time to myself. I'm just lucky Sonia has always been so understanding." He picks up his walkee. "Yeah?"

"_James, there's some kind of commotion over at the Udinov's. There was a 911 call and it dropped. It's probably some kids messing around come to think of it, but you are the only officer in the area right now. Can you-?_

"I'm on it, Roscoe." Birkhoff replied. "Copy that."

Michael frowned. "You're going to Alex Udinov's?"

Birkhoff nodded. "Yeah, there was a 911 call and it dropped. I gotta check it out."

"I'm going with you." Michael stated.

"What? Why?" Birkhoff demanded.

"Nikita is over there." Michael explained, his eyes filled with worry. "What if something's wrong with her?"

"Mikey," Birkhoff began in a stern voice. "I really don't think this is a good idea. How would you explain your being there?"

Michael sighed. Damn it, his brother did have a point. How would he explain that?

Birkhoff sensed his brother's growing apprehension. "Look, I'm going, there's no need for you to go and jeopardize everything when we don't even know what's what, right?"

Michael was hesitant. "I guess, but…" If Nikita was hurt or something and he didn't go because of his reputation, he would never forgive himself. When it came down to it, she mattered more than any of that.

"Listen, I'll personally track her down when I get there myself and see to it that she is fine." Birkhoff assured him. "If she's not, than I promise you I will call you myself."

"You'd do that?" Michael's eyes were filled with gratitude.

Birkhoff just shook his head with a small laugh. "Of course, I would bro. I know how much she means to you. If it were Sonia, I would be the exact same way."

Michael breathed deeply. "Okay, but you promise if?"

"_If_ there is something wrong, I will call you." Birkhoff repeated firmly.

*Approximately, fifteen minutes later…*

There were voices.

Nikita hazily registered frantic voices all around her.

Sam?

Nikita kept her eyes shut tightly. If there was a chance that Sam was among those voices, she just wanted to pretend she was dead. Death was better than ever having to be presently awake for him to rape her again.

"Nikki! C'mon! You have to get up!"

She recognized the worried but slightly annoyed voice of the girl who was usually so cheery.

Alex?

Nikita slowly opened her eyes and she moaned at the pain that she felt from in-between her legs when she tried to sit up.

"Nikita!" Alex snapped urgently, grabbing her friend's arm.

It was the way that Alex grabbed her arm in anger that sent Nikita flying back into a flashback of Sam grabbing her arm in that same manner.

Nikita flinched and scooted back away from her, there was terror in her eyes and Alex just stared at her in confusion.

"Nikki?" Alex sighed as she realized that for reasons that she did not get, she was scaring her friend. "What's going on? What happened? Are you okay?"

Alex threw the questions at her so quickly that Nikita couldn't quite answer them. Her bearings were not all there and honestly having a crowd of people hovering over you after….after what she'd just been through was not easing her panic in any way.

"Hey…miss are you okay?"

Nikita's head came up at the soft, gentle voice. She looked up into the eyes of a man not much older than Michael. He reminded her of him. In her haze she almost thought that he maybe was Michael. She began questioning if she was dreaming all of this.

"Mich…Michael?" Nikita rasped out, her hand coming up to hold her head. God, it pounded.

"Nikki, who the hell is Michael?!" Alex shrieked. Nothing was making any sense with her and she was getting more than a little upset.

"I'm Birkhoff." He offered kindly, looking Nikita over worriedly. The girl did not look well. "James." He added as he saw some sort of recognition fly into the girl's eyes. "I'm an officer. We got a call for help."

Alex chuckled nervously. "And like I explained to this kind officer here, there is no _need_ for any help." A flash of anger flied into the girl's eyes. "Seriously?! Who called the freaking cops?!"

"It must've been Meers!" One guy snapped.

Alex looked at Nikita in shock. "Nikki? He's wrong, right? You didn't call the police did you? I mean, why in the hell would you? There's no need for-"

Nikita snapped, she couldn't stand her friend flying out questions at her anymore. She just wanted Alex and everyone else to just shut up. She wanted to go home.

"Yes!" Nikita blurted loudly, and than moaned as she felt shooting pain in her skull. "Yes, I called them."

"So, you made the call?" Birkhoff's tone was not judging nor were his eyes. "Nikita, right?" She nodded weakly. "What's going on? The caller said that there was someone after her."

"What?!" Alex yelled. "That is crazy! Nikki, c'mon! Tell them this is a mistake!"

"Alex, I am talking to Nikita." Birkhoff calmly replied, giving the girl a stern look.

"There's…" Nikita cut off as she noticed someone standing far back in the crowd of students. It was Sam and he was glaring at her. He moved his finger across his neck and pointed at her with an evil grin.

Nikita's body began to shake and she put her head in her hands and began to rock. She was willing his monstrous face to go away.

"Nikki?" Alex reached out to pry Nikita's arm away from her face and she screamed.

"Don't touch me!" Nikita screamed as she practically crawled up against the wall. "Get away from me!"

"Baby, why don't you give her some space?" Sean stepped in, eying the friend of his girlfriend in deep concern.

"Space?!" Alex yelled. "She just fucking admitted to calling the cops!"

"Alex, baby lets just take a-" Sean began trying to calm her.

His girl was like a volcano when she got angry. He didn't know exactly what had happened but he didn't believe for a second that Nikita deserved to be on the receiving end of her wrath.

"No!" Alex snapped. "Officer James here just fined my parents! My parents, Sean! I'm gonna be in fucking hot water for like ever! Not to mention what began as an awesome party is now tainted!" Alex turned from her boyfriend and pointed an accusing finger at Nikita. "It's all because of her!"

Hot tears fell down Nikita's face. Alex hated her, everyone hated her. She wanted to speak so badly about what had happened to her, but with Sam standing five feet away, she was terrified to.

What if no one believed her and he wound up doing something worse to her?

Alex stepped closer to Nikita until she was practically in her face. "Nikki, we've been friends for a pretty fucking long time, right?"

Nikita nodded, intimidated by the close proximity of her angered friend. "Yes."

Alex lowered her to voice to almost a whisper, so that Birkhoff couldn't hear. "It's _because_ of the long time we have been friends that I haven't decked you yet, but I swear to God if you do not give me a really fucking good answer as to why you just ruined my party, I will fucking kick your ass out of my house and you'll never be welcomed back."

"Nikita," Birkhoff pressed, his tone still gentle. "I really need you to talk to me here. You don't have to be afraid. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"I'm sorry," Nikita whispered, wiping away her tears. "the truth is I didn't mean to call."

Birkhoff's brow furrowed. "What do you mean you didn't mean to call? You dialed 911, did you not?"

The students snickered while Alex still looked pissed as ever and Sean wore nothing but sympathy for Nikita.

"I…" Nikita breathed. "I was feeling sick and I was trying to call a cab to take me home but the numbers looked blurry and I…" More tears stung at her eyes. "I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for troubling you and…" She looked into Alex's pissed off eyes. "ruining everything."

Birkhoff was hesitant to believe her but what could he do? He couldn't force her to say anything she wasn't willing to say. He'd have to buy this excuse. For now anyway. "Nikita, you realize you could get into an awful lot of trouble for making a false call for help?"

Nikita nodded. "Yes…I know. I really am sorry. I'm so sorry."

Birkhoff nodded. "Well, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. You made an honest mistake and you have no priers. I suppose it could happen to anyone. You really don't look well. I'm gonna take you home." He saw Nikita's stunned look at his kindness and he just faintly smiled at her. "And the rest of you, I suggest you all call your parents. I've already let them know about what's happened tonight."

All the students groaned and shot daggers at Nikita.

"Nice going, Meers." A couple guys said snidely as they brushed by her.

"Alex," Nikita choked out. "I'm really…"

"Don't," Alex said sharply backing away from her. "talk to me. Ever. I'm gonna be in a shit load of trouble that's gonna last a fucking lifetime for me because you got," She lowers her voice to a mimick. "wasted and confused." She shook her head once again in anger. "Fuck you, Nikita."

Alex stalked off.

"I'm sorry, Nikki. I'll try to talk to her." Sean said kindly before walking off to follow his girlfriend.

"Come on, Nikita." Birkhoff held out his hand for her to take. "I'll take you home."

Nikita stood up, refusing his hand. "Thank you, but I can walk on my own."

Birkhoff nodded and she followed him out.

Ten minutes later, Birkhoff had pulled into Nikita's driveway.

"Thank you," Nikita said softly.

Birkhoff nodded. "You're welcome. You know, I did call your parents."

Nikita looked up at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah and they said you were seventeen nearly an adult and that they had more pressing concerns than dealing with an over indulgent child." Birkhoff had a look of anger at the words and flashed her an apologetic smile. "I feel like I should apologize to you."

"For what?" Nikita asked puzzled. "It's how they are. It's no one's fault, certainly not yours."

"You know, if I could arrest them for being uncaring selfish beings, I so would." Birkhoff stated. "I'm really very sorry."

Nikita shrugged it off. "Like I said, it's how they are."

"You know…" Birkhoff hesitated on whether he should say anything but than felt it was only right. "My brother…Michael…he cares a great deal for you."

Nikita struggled to look indifferent. "Well, I'm his student. He has this thing about helping his students…"

Birkhoff shook his head. "Nikita, I know, ok? He told me how conflicted he is, how much he loves you." She looked at him in shock. "He'd probably kill me for telling you this, but with how noble he is, it'll take him until next year to tell you." He lightly chuckled. "He made me promise that if you were at the party, I would find you and make sure you were okay."

Nikita's eyes widened. "He did? Really? He said all that?"

Birkhoff nodded. "My brother's a good man, Nikita. And I believe that you are a good person. You guys just met a little early is all, but there's nothing wrong with that."

Nikita blinked back tears. Everything was different now. What would Michael think if he ever knew what happened tonight? "I should go in. Thank you for what you did tonight."

Birkhoff nodded. "You should call him. Let him know that you are alright. It'd mean more to him to hear your voice than to hear me tell him for sure."

Nikita merely nodded before getting out and disappearing into her house.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the AMAZING reviews! I really love hearing how everyone feels about it! I promised there's a light and there will be. Hope you guys like this next chapter!

**Chapter 10**

Nikita slowly and painfully crawled her way up the stairs to her room. She'd lost the last of strength she'd had pretending she was fine with Birkhoff.

She was on her knees as her hand gripped the handle of her door knob. She slowly pushed herself up and she whimpered at the extreme soreness she felt from between her legs.

The door opened and she walked inside. She gasped and tears sprung to her eyes.

"Hello, Nikita."

Sam was standing right in front of her, a smug smile on his face.

"No, no." Nikita shook her head desperately. "How do you know where I live?"

Sam quickly made his way to her and Nikita quickly ran to open the door but his hand slammed it shut just like earlier. "I _live_ in you, Nikita." He laughed, breathing against her neck.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Nikita whimpered, fighting against him. She spun around to kick him but her foot met air. She tripped and fell down.

Nikita sat on the ground dazed for a moment. She felt her body still shaking. He'd looked so real, he'd felt so real.

She let out a light chuckle at the fact that she'd thought he was actually there in her bedroom. He didn't know where she lived. She'd only met him tonight.

The chuckle turned into a laugh, the laugh turned into a hysterical laugh, and the hysterical laugh soon turned into deep heart wrenching sobs.

Nikita sobbed into her hands, her small body curled up into the corner.

_I live in you, Nikita._

Nikita abruptly stopped sobbing.

God, she still smelled him. She still felt him on her, still felt him in her. He'd touched every part of her body in the most repulsive way and in this moment all she wanted to do was to scrub him off.

Nikita quickly stood up and ran for her bathroom that was adjoined in her room. She shut the door tightly behind her, locking it.

She pulled the dress over her head and tossed it to the ground, making a quick note to throw it away and she would. That beautiful, blue spaghetti strap dress was now a painful reminder of this horrible night and what she had lost.

Nikita pulled the shower curtain back and stepped in, turning the water on. She stepped under the hot spray and let the water pour over her. She closed her eyes.

"Nikita."

Nikita spun around and was stunned see Michael standing in front of her, his arms were wrapped around her. "Michael, you're here?"

Michael's eyes were soft and pained. "Why, Nikita? Why did you let him touch you?"

Tears sprang to Nikita's eyes. "Michael, I didn't…I didn't want him to! I'm so sorry. You _have_ to believe me!"

"We don't have a chance now." Michael softly said before backing away from her.

"No!" Nikita shrieked, reaching out for him desperately. "No, Michael! Don't leave me, please! I told him no, I swear to God I told him no!"

Michael just continued to shake his head sadly. "It never would've worked, Nikita." And then he chuckled and his eyes changed from sad to a taunt. A taunt at her. "You're nothing but a spoiled immature child. What would I have possibly wanted with _you_ other than the obvious? That's gone…and so am I."

"Michael, why are you saying this?! I fought him! Please!" Nikita cried brokenly, as she reached out to grab him, her hand hit the wall.

Nikita looked around the stall for Michael but he had vanished.

"Michael.." Nikita cried as she once again realized that he had been a hallucination just like Sam had been. The only difference was she'd wanted Michael to be real.

Nikita slid down the wall as she began to quietly sob into her hands. "Please." She wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't do this alone."

"Birkhoff," Michael stood up eagerly as he saw his brother walk through his front door. "what happened? Is everything ok?"

Birkhoff wore a wary expression as he shook his head. "I wouldn't call this night an ok one, no bro."

"Well, what happened?" Michael pressed, his mind racing with worry. "Is it Nikita? Is she-?"

"She's safe at home, Mikey." Birkhoff quickly assured his brother.

Michael breathed a sigh of relief. "Good….that's …that's good. She should be home."

Birkhoff just shook his head. "I'm not sure home is any better than where she was."

Michael nodded in agreement. "No argument from me there."

"You know about her parents, then?" Birkhoff surmised.

"Some." Michael replied. "Nikita's talked some about them and what she has told me…." He sighed sadly. "Are they really as awful as she makes them out to be? I mean, I don't think she's lying or anything….but…what kind of parents don't give a damn about their own child?"

"The selfish kind, bro." Birkhoff replied solemnly. "The kind that are so into money that nothing else seems to matter. You see, Percy and Amanda Meers are elite socialites and unfortunately Nikita's paying the price for it."

Michael's eyes went dark. "It's not fair, Birkhoff. You and I never went one day thinking that our parents couldn't care less and Nikita…she thinks like that every day. She has…she has her fake parents and her fake friends. She doesn't have anyone."

"She has you."

Michael nodded in agreement. "She does. If she ever forgives me that is. I just…I feel like each second that goes on with her in the dark thinking that she means nothing to me is another second for her to shut me out completely."

"It's a possibility." Birkhoff agreed, thinking back on what had occurred tonight.

"That can't happen. I have to…I have to tell her something. I mean, I can't tell her the truth…not yet, but I have to…" Michael was caught between his desire to tell her everything and his desire to do right by her.

"There may not be any time for you to do damage control, bro." Birkhoff said. "I think I need to tell you something. You're uh….you're probably gonna be pretty pissed at me, but if I tell you….if I tell you about that party…I think you might understand where I was coming from."

Michael groaned. He knew that tone all too well. It was the 'don't be pissed, I did it for your own good' tone.

"Oh God. What the hell did you do? Did you… you didn't tell her to stay away did you?" At his brother's shake of his head, his eyes went wide. "Oh God, it's worse! You told her it was all lies, didn't you?!" At his brother's guilty look, Michael punched the wall in anger. "You did! You didn't tell her I loved her, did you? Please, _please_ tell me you at least did me that one courtesy!"

Birkhoff shook his head once again, knowing what was coming next.

"Well, fuck, Birkhoff!" Michael snapped, running a hand through his hair. "How the hell am I supposed to convince her of anything now?"

"Mikey, I get that you're pissed but there's a whole lot more going on with Nikita than just her teacher being in love with her." Birkhoff stated. "You didn't see her at that party. She was…something definitely happened."

The anger left Michael's eyes and was replaced by worry. "Well, what happened?"

"The 911 call I got, that was Nikita." Birkhoff said.

Michael's eyes widened in shock. "Nikita, called 911? Oh my God, what happened to her?" His eyes narrowed at his brother in anger. "I thought you said she was ok!"

"She is, bro." Birkhoff stated calmly. "At least physically anyway. I kept trying to get to her to tell me what happened. She was passed out when I got there and when she came to….well, it wasn't just me who wanted answers. Alex and the others got pretty shitty with her for calling the cops."

Michael's eyes darkened at the thought of those bratty self centered kids. "Well, it doesn't matter what they think. I know, Nikita ok? I know her better than anyone. I _know_ her and she would never do something like that if she didn't have a good reason."

"She claimed it was an accident." Birkhoff recounted. "She said that she'd had too much to drink and accidentally called 911. I didn't believe her, but what could I do, Mikey? I couldn't force the girl to admit to something that I had no idea of even happening. Alex kept grabbing her and it scared her. At one point she completely freaked out and told her not to touch her."

"Maybe it was the alcohol?" Michael asked. "I mean lots of kids get really drunk and they don't like it when someone tries to yell at them or tell them what to do."

Birkhoff shook his head. "In any other case, I'd say maybe, but….you didn't see her eyes when she said it. They weren't full of confusion, they were full of terror. I know intoxication and I know when someone's scared. That girl was scared. She wouldn't talk to me though and Alex told her she was no longer welcome in her house, so I drove her home."

"Wait a minute." Michael's eyes turned angry once again. "So, Nikita called the cops because something obviously happened and instead of being concerned, Alex just tells her she wants her out of her house? What the fuck kind of best friend is she?!"

"She was very upset about the fine and the probability of her being grounded for the rest of her high school career." Birkhoff explained with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, boo-hoo!" Michael snapped. "Maybe she should've thought of that before throwing a party that Nikita never wanted to go to to begin with! She's blaming her for a party that she threw and was her idea?!"

Birkhoff nodded. "She's blaming Nikita for ruining the party and getting her ass in hot water along with the rest of the student bodies."

"That's incredibly selfish." Michael stated with a roll of his eyes. "No wonder Nikita said she'd like to throw her friends off a cliff." He muttered.

Birkhoff's eyes widened. "She said what?!"

Michael just waved it off. "We were joking one day and….nothing, forget it. So, you took her home. Is that where you decided to make yourself God and tell her I lied and that I loved her?"

"Still mad about that, huh?"

Michael nodded. "Yeah, I'm a little peeved. I'll get over it."

"I told her to call you." Birkhoff said. "I don't know what happened to her, but I do know that she should talk to somebody."

Michael nodded. "Well, thank you. I mean that, by the way. Thank you for getting her home safely and thank you for…." He chuckles. "I'm even thanking you for telling her my feeling for her."

Birkhoff smirked. "Well, you're welcome. I do have to go though, I promised Sonia I'd at least be home by one."

Michael nodded with a finger pointing towards his door. "Go to it."

Michael's cell starts to go off.

He grabs it off the table and it says "Nikita"

"That's Nikita." Michael stated.

Birkhoff smiled softly. "Well, Good luck." With that, Birkhoff leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Nikita was all wrapped up in her terry white robe after her long shower.

She was curled up under the covers in her bed, with the phone pressed to her ear.

She needed to hear his voice.

She needed to hear the only voice that had ever soothed her, with the hope that maybe just maybe it could even soothe her now.

"_Hello?"_

Nikita moved her lips to say something, but it's like it wouldn't come out. It's like her vocal cords were paralyzed or something.

She heard Michael sigh and she knew he knew that she was on the line.

"_Nikita, I know you're there."_

This time something did come out but to her horror, it was a whimper from her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she realized that she was crying.

It wasn't bad enough that she had broken down like an idiot and called him and said nothing but now she was crying?!

God, she was such a loser.

"_Nikita," _She could've sworn she heard his voice slightly break. _"Please….please, don't cry. Just…just talk to me, please."_

Nikita didn't say anything, couldn't say anything. She didn't even know where to start.

Did she start with how he broke her heart, how that party and Sam had completely ruined her life, or with how Birkhoff claimed he really did love her? There was just too much and she didn't know how to say any of it.

She heard him sigh and for a moment she was terrified he was going to hang up. Selfish as it was of her, his voice was the only thing keeping her grounded, the only thing that was keeping Sam away.

"_I'm glad you called me. I wasn't sure if…after what…."_ This time she was defiantly sure she heard his voice break and it caused her to cry a little more. _"Oh, baby I'm so sorry. I didn't…I meant __**nothing**__ that I said to you tonight, ok? I want…I want __**everything**__ that you said. It's still not….damnit it's still not what I want____for you! It's not what I think that you deserve, but damn it I l__**ove**__ you and I almost don't care."_

Nikita cried harder at his words. He was saying everything she'd desperately wanted to hear but it was too late now. If he…if he knew about Sam, he'd never want her.

"_Baby, I know I hurt you. I __**know**__ that. I am just…I am so sorry. We could…we could have something real. I know we could. I know that we __**do.**__ Just, please….I need you to talk to me. Say something, anything."_ His voice was desperate and urgent.

This time words did come out but they were the last ones she'd ever meant to say and she would never figure out why out of everything she could've said to him, these were the ones that popped out.

"I want you to forget you ever knew me." Nikita's voice broke as she breathed deeply. "Just stay away, Michael."

"_What? No! Nikita, please don't…" _Desperation could be heard in his voice and she was pretty sure she heard it break.

Nikita quickly pulled her phone away from her ear, even as she heard his desperate pleas. She hung up and turned her cell phone off, carelessly tossing it a few feet away.

She put her head in her hands and proceeded to break down in heart wrenching sobs that would last all through the night.


End file.
